Peace for the Hormonal Wreck

I am sure my husband may disagree slightly with this first statement but, I don’t think I was very hormonal during my pregnancy with Gracelyn. I am sure there were some hormones that came out at random times but I never felt overly emotional. However, for the past month or so this seems to be proving untrue with Avalyn. I seem to have many more unexplainable hormones and on some days it has turned me into an emotional wreck. I think some of this has to do with having a lot more going on in life than I did during my pregnancy with Gracelyn.  I have never had to work full time since Gracelyn has been born, and leaving her every day is turning me into a sobbing monster. When I am home, I seem to be completely overwhelmed with my part-time job, household chores, meals, cleaning, laundry, spending time with Tim and preparing to add another baby to our family.

 I am pretty awesome at to do lists. I love making them, and usually feel awesome having it all written down for me to visually check off as I get things done. My to do lists now however are beyond overwhelming to me as my body is starting to wear down and I find it more and more difficult to peal myself off of the couch after work.

I don’t mean for this post to be one of complaints and sympathy. When I first began to feel overwhelmed, I started looking up anxiety/depression when pregnant. I didn’t find very much except that it will get worse after having a baby. GREAT.

I realized life is not going to slow down with 2 kids under 2. I need to learn to embrace life for what it is now, the to do lists and all! I need to cherish the last weeks with Gracelyn, and not allow my to do lists and anxiety rob me from enjoying who she is and how her life will be changed. I want to enjoy this time in my pregnancy, because I remember all too often how much I wanted to be pregnant again after Gracelyn’s birth. Pregnancy is hard. It takes a toll on your body, physically and emotionally. But pregnancy is a process in life to teach, to mold, and to develop me to be able to parent my daughters. Just as labor is hard, painful, and sometimes long, it shapes me, and prepares me for motherhood.

I am beyond blessed to be carrying another sweet baby. I am beyond blessed to have one of the cutest and funniest 20 month olds. I am beyond blessed that Tim was able to get a job, which has allowed me to cut down on my hours slightly. I am beyond blessed to have a husband who loves me, and hasn’t run away from his crazy pregnant hormonal wife. Although my to do list has not slimed down much, I have so much to be thankful for, and focusing on that seems to bring more comfort and peace than completing my to do list!

By the grace of God I will choose to enjoy the last weeks in this pregnancy, and the last weeks with my only daughter!

Psalm 28:7
"The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in Him and I am helped; therefore my heart exults and with my song I shall thank Him."