Our Culture and Birth

 I believe our culture and society does a huge disservice to pregnant women. I know most people have good intentions and mean well but some of the things people say to pregnant woman and treat pregnant woman saddens me. Pregnancy is NOT a disability. Pregnancy is NOT a disease. Pregnancy is NOT something to be feared. The miracle of pregnancy I believe has become so medicalized and feared in our society. Birth is so much more than just having a baby. Birth empowers and strengthens mothers. I understand there are things that can go wrong during pregnancy and birth, but without outside interventions, that is NOT the norm. It should not be expected for something to go wrong when you do not allow interventions. I think so often we are just waiting, expecting something to go wrong that emergencies are brought up from fear rather than evidence based care.

My body was created to nourish my baby and grow my baby and develop my baby. My body was created for me to carry my baby, and deliver my baby. My body knows the perfect size for my baby, AND the perfect time to her to come.  How amazing is that?! My body and my body know!

I have been thinking back on my pregnancy with Gracelyn. At 36 weeks I was miserable and wanted to be done. I was in pain, aching, and groaning. I didn’t treat my pregnancy or my body as something that was normal, but rather like the rest of society I treated it as a disability. I felt weak, tired, painful, swollen, and very sorry for myself. I wish someone would have grab ahold of my head, looked into my eyes and said, “You can do this. Your body was made to do this. Your baby knows the perfect time to come, and although it seems so far from now, but you WILL wish to be pregnant again at times, and these last few weeks should be cherished and honored, not hurried or rushed.”  Sadly, I doubt I would have listened, because I had been listening to society my entire pregnancy telling me that I was fragile and disabled. I believed the lie. I did not trust my body or my baby. I was done.

I wish I would have known then what I know now, but when you know better, you do better. I wish that I had never agreed to an induction, which increased my chances for a c-section by 50%! I believe I gave into induction because it was “normal”, it was what everyone did, and I was never made aware of the real risks. I was done feeling broken and fragile, and I of course wanted to meet my baby. I had NO idea how that choice was going to impact my birth, my breastfeeding relationship, and my bond with my daughter. Birth is not just for an end result of a baby. Birth is so much more. I believe in birth, I believe it has an impact on breastfeeding and on bonding. I am sadden for woman, like myself, who did not get what they wanted in their birth, and instead just “went with the flow” rather than making their own choices, listening to their bodies, and their babies, and TRUSTING themselves. I know not every birth is perfect, and I do know that things can go wrong in my upcoming birth, but I finally trust my body, my baby and my instincts.

I wish I could have told myself 2 years ago, and every pregnant woman out there:

You are NOT DISABLED, you are stronger than you think, you are able. You are braver than you believe. You CAN do this; you CAN have the birth you want. It is NOT too late to start making choices for yourself, rather than only listening to what your doctor says. You are strong, able, and competent to birth your baby. PLEASE do not let society tell you otherwise!

“Just as a women’s heart knows how and when to pump, her lungs to inhale and her hand to pull back from fire, so she knows WHEN and HOW to give birth.”