A new world

I woke up this morning dreaming of a world. A world that believes in true satisfaction. A world that believes in true happiness. A world that screams, "YOU ARE WORTHY!" A world that when you look out upon it, you feel complete. Isn't this world a world every person deep down strive to seek for?

This new world seems very different from the one we live in today. As a women in our current world, I am told very different things than that which the new world tells. In my current world I am told that I need more, I need more clothes, more money, or more time. Some days I am too fat, or Im too______(fill in the blank). I am told that some days I'm not good enough. Good enough for my friends, my husband, or my God. In this current world, I face a voice that tells me that if I could only be a better Christian, or closer to God, I would find fulfillment in my life. Although wanting to have a better relationship with God is not necessarily a bad thing, but if we want a good thing so desperately, we let desire turn bitter, and end up stealing from ourselves. You see, there also seems to be a part of the world we live in, even as Christian women, that looks down upon confession. This isnt really something I think may Christian women would say, but we all seem to have our own little secrets. We sometimes as Christian women mistakenly believe that confession makes us weak but on the contrary, our hidden defeats wear us down. Confession allows us freedom. I know I am not the only women who struggles with which world to follow, or feeling unworthy or unloved. So often it is easier to believe that we are worthless and weak than it is to truly accept that in God we are incomparably valuable and loved.

The truth is women, we live in this world, but yet we are called to not be of it. I spend so much more time filling my mind with T.V., billboards, gossip, then I do allowing the Maker to tell me who I really am. A quote that I have to read everyday is taped to my mirror. When I put my makeup on every day I am confronted by this truth:
"Each day it is absolutely crucial for me to listen for God's voice, affirming that I am God's beloved child. Only then can I resist the temptation to reinhabit my false identity. Only when I am listening to God's voice, and not my own, am I set free from having to prove to the world (or to myself) that I am worth loving, because God has already, repeatedly, affirmed his love for me."

You see, this new world I dreamed of today is a world that although I do not live there right now, I must visit this new world daily, for strength and so my Maker can tell me really who I am:

Loved. Worthy. Beautiful.

New Beginnings

WELCOME!
Tim and I had started a blog on CaringBridge last year that dealt with my medical issues and Tim's trip to Brazil. I decided I wanted to start blogging again, and wanted a fresh start. A blog that wasn't filled with depressing medical issues.
I love to journal. I feel most as peace and most connected to my creator when I journal. I feel almost like it is a direct connection to Him.

Most people start a blog to share a new birth, wonderful missions trip, or a exciting or troublesome time in their life. Im not sure that Tim and I have any of these things going on, but yet, I still wanted to be able to share my thoughts and feelings. Maybe no one will even read this, but thats okay.

I will however give an update to those who have been praying for Tim and I the last few months.

UPDATE ON ABBY:
Well my cartilage transplant surgery was done on December 23rd, right before Christmas. I stayed two weeks at my parents house after with tim. My mom rented a hospital bed so that made it a lot easier. Although I don't remember mush of the two weeks, including Christmas and our 2 year wedding anniversary, I do remember a few things:

• How my husband stayed up until 6am every night to sleep on the floor next to my bed, in case I woke up in pain and needed something. He woke me up every 2 hours to eat and take more medicine.
• I remember how my mom would wake up at 6am so Tim could go to bed, and she would then take on the day shift of feeding me and making sure I had medicine. Where would I be without my mother? Lord only knows. A lot of my smiles those two weeks come from my mom.
• I remember my dad, my dad took shifts sleeping next to my bed, changing ice in my ice machine and making sure I was okay. He made me feel loved during this time.
• I remember my younger brother Connor. Not only was he Tim's source of sanity, but he also showed me love in taking care of me also.
• I also remember the friends I had that visited me: Laura brought me strawberries and flowers, and laid with me in my bed and made me laugh. Katie and Josh drove 3 hours up to spend New Years Eve with Tim and I. This was such a treat and a blessing. My in laws also came to visit me on Christmas, dont remember much of this, but I remember their love and gifts :)

Since then, I've been home with my wonderful husband. January and February he waited on me hand and foot. Made my meals, helped me shower and get dressed, cleaned the house, took me to PT. He was a true blessing.

Since February I have been able to get around pretty well and fend for myself for the most part. I still go to PT twice a week, and I am hoping to be ready to be back to work in the start of May.

I have been cooking meals every day for tim and being a housewife, which I LOVE!!

UPDATE ON TIM:

I dont want to give a big update on Tim, since Im the one writing this, but I'll share with you a few things.

He got a job at Best Buy working in computers, his first day is actually today. This has been a great blessing because he has been looking for a job for a while. Tim also has been going to guitar lessons once a week with a friend on campus. He loves learning more about guitar.

UPDATE ON US BOTH:

We both have been into photography as most of you already know. We have had quite a few photoshoots, and love every bit of it! We also have photography lessons once a week!

We both are still in school full time, but we only have to travel to lincoln once a week, which is great!

We just found a church! We love it. It is seriously such a blessing and the thing that I am most excited about right now. God is working in such huge ways there, and we are so excited to be a part of it! Tim is on the worship team and I am going on the womens retreat in April. We are so excited to see how God will do in this church. Also, we are making new friends there. Everyone is so welcoming and friendly!

WHAT GOD HAS BEEN DOING:

Tim and I are going through a book called "Marriage Without Regrets" By Kay Arthur. It has really been a great source for us to come together daily and read about a godly marriage. We in no way have a prefect marriage, but we are excited to see the ways God is molding us together. Accepting a plan that may not be our own for our life.

I have been reading a book called "Every Thought Captive" By Jerusha CLark. It has really helped me through accepting who I am in Christ, and filtering what I say to myself, and what is truth. God has been teaching me so much about his love for me, and who I am in Him. I have also been going to see a counselor who has helped me a lot to deal with past issues and accepting who I am as a child of God.

God has been calling tim and i closer and closer to His heart. We are so excited to the changes in our life, and our new Church home.