{8 Months} ::Pregnancy Update::

How far along? 32 Weeks
Overall Emotion last month? Overwhelmed :(  I have been struggling with anxiety a lot this past month. Not over the birth or anything, I am very excited about that. I am feeling overwhelmed to get to the birthing time with how much we have going on. I am working full time, and part time, and Tim is working 2 part time jobs and is just starting his full time job, and Gracelyn being 1 and a half......it has just begun to take a toll on me. I am as excited as ever for our birthing time, as it is quickly approaching! I also just found out I have low thyroid....which may be attributing to my anxiety feelings and high pulse.
Maternity clothes? Of course, some of my size small materinty clothes seem to be shrinking...so I am up the mediums!
Sleep: I am beyond exhausted ALL.THE.TIME (again, I think because of my low thyroid, I am abnormally tired), and I get up about 5 times a night.
Best moment this month: Yet again, seeing my midwife and having our monthly appointments, and seeing God provide various things needed for Avalyn.
Weight Gain: +15lbs

Movement: She is a hardcore mover and groover, much more than Gracelyn ever was! She pretty much lives in my ribs, which is not so fun.
.Food cravings: peanut butter as always
Anything making you queasy or sick: sometimes chicken if it isn't cooked right
Have you started to show yet: growing and growing more and more. I still think I am a lot smaller than I was with G at 8 months.
Wedding rings on or off? still on but getting tighter.
Looking forward to: My maternity/family pictures, going to Wisconsin for a friends wedding and staying at my parents cabin with our best friends, kid free!
One thing I did well this month? Made notecards with quotes and verses on them, protein intake, and stretches
One thing I can work on this month? My anxiety level, enjoying the time alone with G, instead of letting it stress me out, not eating junk food.
Bigger/Smaller than last pregnancy: I think smaller, and just a different shape for sure.

Protein intake this month: Decent, but could be better
How does body & knee feel? Okay, not horrible but not great either.
Book Currently reading: Continued reading/watching positive birth stories, and reading Spirit-Led Parenting, which is a great book, I REALLY love this book!

Day of the Unknown

I struggle with the unknown. I am sure it has a lot to do with my controlling personality but there is fear in the not knowing, not controlling. There is fear that stirs up in me when I do not know what the future holds or what is going to happen. I think at one time or another we all can relate in that fear. 


Recently I have been struggling with this fear of the unknown yet again. The "planner" in me wants to know what is going to happen so I can be prepared, but if I am honest with myself, it is a control thing, it is a fear thing, it is a not trusting the One who knows what I need more than I know myself. 


T has been looking for a job since he graduated in May. This is something that brings great anxiety for me, especially because he only has a few months to find one before we have another baby, and I stop working. I abhor not knowing where he is going to work, and if it will support our growing family. He had an interview last week that seemed everything promising. He was extremely confident in getting this job, and I began to rest assured that this was the answer for our future, but he got word that he did not get the job. We are back to searching and interviewing. When T first told me he didn't get the job, I was devastated. Questions filled my mind and I didn't understand. I knew it was a job he really wanted and would have been amazing at. My bigger devastation came however, in being back to a place of unknown, a place of fear.


As I was praying for our future, I was hit with a ton of bricks. I felt God gently asking me, why? Why am I worried now? Do I trust Him less now than I did a year ago? Do I no longer believe that He holds my future? Do I no longer have my hope in Him alone? My God is sovereign, even when I "think" I know what is best for my future.

Today marks the day of the ultimate unknown in my life. A day that held so much fear and so much unknown. One year ago today God had been teaching me to Trust in Him in ways that make the unknowns of T's job seem minuscule. One year ago today was a day of limbo. 


We just received word that my brother had stolen money from us and had gone missing. So many questions filled my mind, so much unknown was present, and extremely overwhelming. Where was he? Did he relapse? Did he overdose? Why was he not answering his phone? Was he alive or dead? Was yesterday the last time I will ever see him alive? 


These questions filled my mind on this very day last year. The overwhelming unknowns were ever present. I could rest in my God and know that He knew. He knew where Austin was, he knew the answers to my inner most fears and questions. My God knew. 


I can trust in the hope that my God holds my future. Even when outcomes do not seem to go as I would have planned or even hoped, my God knew, and my God has a much bigger perspective and a much bigger plan than I could ever imagine. Looking back on my brother's death, I am so grateful that God continues to teach me. I can trust him with my future, the unknowns and all! My God is a much better planner than I am, and I will choose to trust in His hope and His love, rather than my own. 


One year ago today marks the day of unknown, and tomorrow will bring answers, even if they are not the answers we had hoped for. 


My God is a sovereign God. 




You can read about God's Story in Austin here.

{7 months} ::Pregnant Update::

How far along? 28 weeks 5 days

Overall Emotion last month? SHOCK. I can not believe how fast this pregnancy is going. With Gracelyn it felt like it went so slow, and I am sure that is because I didn't know what to expect, but it has FLOWN by!

Maternity clothes? Yes,  I can still fit into some pre-pregnancy jeans with the ol' rubber band trick

Sleep: Doing well, I fall asleep in .2 seconds but of course get up about 5 times to pee

Best moment this month: Getting a few things for Avalyn's room like painting letters for her room (see below) and getting to feel her WAY more, she is much more active than Gracelyn was.

Weight Gain: +10lbs

Movement: Oh yes, she makes sure she is known in there. I don't remember feeling Gracelyn as much as I do Avalyn, I can feel her legs and grab ahold of them when she pushes out.

Food cravings: peanut butter...and junk food :-( 

Anything making you queasy or sick: not really, getting pretty sick of Mexican type foods though.

Have you started to show yet: yes, I feel quite a bit bigger than last month.

Wedding rings on or off? still on and loose

Looking forward to: hanging things up in Ava's room, ordering some home birth supplies, and spending alone time with Gracelyn before she has a sister

One thing I did well this month? Focused on my birth plans, and prepared mentally for an amazing experience

One thing I can work on this month? Diet was not as good as last month, and I can feel it in my body when I don't eat as well. On the days I eat good, I don't even feel pregnant and could run a marathon!

Bigger/Smaller than last pregnancy: I would say about the same, maybe smaller, just for fun here is a photo of my belly 7 months pregnant with Gracelyn, what do you think??

Protein intake this month: Not terrible, but not as great as I can do, and as I did last month

How does body & knee feel? Like I said before, I feel great when I eat great, you would think that would teach me to eat great all the time, but sometimes a craving overtakes me...

Book Currently reading: Continued reading/watching positive birth stories, and reading Spirit-Led Parenting, which is a great book!




Here are the letters we painted for Avalyn's room: