New Labor Plans

I was the type of person before I got pregnant that said, "I'm getting an epidural before I even get to the hospital." I am not really a "natural" person, and not really into "organic" things and such. I looked at women who did natural childbirth as "stuck up know it alls" who felt they needed to prove something.

My entire pregnancy I have spent numerous hours researching labor and birth.

My feelings all changed once I got pregnant and started doing research. Now, I don't want to start a controversy but after my research and 12 weeks of Bradley Natural Childbirth classes, Tim and I felt that what we wanted for our labor was a natural, unmedicated one. Honestly, I have truly been excited about labor. Not the pain, but to experience something my body was made by God to do. I knew it would be hard but I was TRULY excited for what Tim & I would go through during natural childbirth.

Isn't it funny that I still think I can prepare for something or plan for something and just expect God to follow along with my plan? I tend to struggle with this a lot.

After seeing my midwife on Monday, for MANY reasons I wont get into, she said we needed to induce me. We told her we needed to talk and pray about it and that we would get back to her.

i. was. devastated.

We got home from the appointment and I went straight into my bed. All I could do was bawl my eyes out. I laid in bed for almost the entire day bawling because I felt like I had to give up something I had planned for, worked so hard for, and truly thought was best for me & Gracelyn. Tim & I prayed about this choice until late last night we decided.

I will be getting induced on Sunday night.

Although at times I think about this choice and feel a sick feeling knowing that this is NOT what I had planned for nor what I wanted for my first and possibly only labor. I have received a overwhelming sense of peace today. I am not sure how I could of dealt with making this decision without the support, love and prayers of our good friends and family. Although most don't understand our reasons for wanting to have a natural childbirth, they supported me. and now that we are having an induction, they still support me.

This is not a one time decision I have made. There are still times throughout my day that I want to cry and scream, "Why God? Why is this better? Why can't I just be normal and have a normal labor?" I know my God is faithful. I know my God is loving, not just to me but to my unborn daughter. I know that just as He had a plan of this unexpected pregnancy, He also has a plan for this unexpected labor.

I am comforted knowing that His plans tend to work out a whole lot better than mine!

So, regardless of how I will be laboring Gracelyn Rose will arrive sometime on Monday, if not earlier!

4 days and counting.......